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Thoob Xu, letting the parents know about their daughter

Find two people to help you Thoob Xu. You want to find someone who has some knowledge of the process so there will be less issues in the future.
Reference class session 05/22/2022 for more details and discussion

Terms, Definitions and Terminology

Thoob Xu, Fis Xuv or Fis Xov
Different people use different terms, they all mean the same thing.
Reference class session 08/07/2022 for more details , section 1

Tug Tsawb Tshoob or Tug Coj Tshooj Coj Kus
A person who is knowledgeable about weddings and normally represents the family on topics and issue in regards to weddings.
Reference class session 05/22/2022 for more details , section 13. Tug Tsawb Tshoob

Suav Ceeb also pronounced Sawv Ceeb
Reference class session 05/22/2022 for more details , section 16. Suav Ceeb explained

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Items Needed to Thoob Xu

1. $40 lub Xu ntsug suav ceeb
2. $100 for Nam qai and $100 for txiv qai
Reference class session 05/22/2022 for more details , 19. lub Qai explain

Reference class session 05/22/2022 for more details , section 17. lub Qai

3. at least $40 for the grandma and $40 for grandpa, but it's best to give more
Reference class session 05/22/2022 for more details , section 17. lub Qai and section 18. Qai for grandparent

4. $60 combinded for the aunt, uncle, sister ie... other family members who are there duing the event
Reference class session 05/22/2022 for more details , section 17. lub Qai and section 20. Qai for othe

5. $20 for Tsawb Tshoob
6. suav ceeb also pronounced sawv ceeb
7. cigarettes to give to the people present (ntsuab yeeb)
You should bring a lot since there could be a lot of people there you need to ntsuab yeeb to

muab npua tub npua ntsw muab dlev tub dlev tum

Preperation steps and Other Notes

Also ntsuab yeej before asking a question . reference class meeting 08/07/2022 section 15. ntsuab yeej each time you need to ask a question

Wrapping the suav ceeb .
Reference class session 05/22/2022 for more details, section 15. wrapping the suav ceeb

Note : in the video below. The white napkins are representing cash. There are 3 sections that need to have cash inside them.

Address the tsawb tshoob

This is the first step after you meet or picked up the Tsawb Tshoob and arrive back at the parents house again. reference class 08/07/2022 section 11. Steps in proper order
kaab yeeb nua rua koj
kaab yeeb nua yog rua txiv
kaab yeeb nua yog rua nam
kaab nua mas yog rua puj rua yawm,
kaab nua rua puj laug yawm laug,
kaab nua rua nam txawm txiv tsawm,
kaab nua rua puj nyaaj txiv kwj yij, (hmoob leeg)
kaab nua rua muam phauj yawg laug, (hmoob dlawb)
kaab nua rua nug tij, nug npawg, nug kwv

Ntsuab Yeeb
to the Tsawb Tshoob. You give everyone's yeeb to the Tsawb Tshoob.
Then next you go to each individual person and ntsuab yeeb to each one of them individually.

When there is no Father

Reference class session 05/22/2022 for more details, section 28. when there is no father

Calling the Parents Before You Go to Their House

First you call the parents and let them know that your son has brought their daughter home with him and you like to speak to them about it.

Reference class session 05/22/2022 for more details , section 25. Calling the parents ahead of time

Thoob Xu Steps and Process When You Arrive at the Bride's Parents House

NOTE : remember to say thank you each time they respond to your comments/question/words

when you hand out the cigarettes you say the following

Holding the cigarettes
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NOTE : When you are handing out the cigarettes if the mom runs away do not pursue her. Just give it to the dad saying its for the mom
reference meeting 08/07/2022 section 9. kaab yeeb for the mom

If you are on the receiving end exceping the cigarettes say the following phrase when taking it.

reference meeting 08/07/2022, section 12. holding the kaab yeeb, swv txhaj auv

Address the father and tsawb tshoob

The first thing you do when you first arrive is to ntsuab yeeb to the father. If you do not know who the father is, it is ok to ask. First find out who the father is. If there is only one male in the room you can assume he is the father
kuv tuaj nuav los tsis paub hab es thov txim koj puas yog tub hu (person's name) puas yog
If there are more then one male you can ask.
thov txim nawb, pe los tsis paub hab es mej xov xaav le caag has es
kuv xaav nug xaav paub ta txiv yog tug twg

And ask who the
or the Tug Coj Tshooj Coj Kus person is.
ntsuab yeeb to the father and ask
nub nuav ib tuaj nuav yog xaav ntsug meb ua nam ua txiv thaam txug meb tug ntxhais (their daughter's name)
ntsuab yeeb again and ask about the tsawb tshoob
koj ua txiv ne kuv ib nyua nug koj es meb tug tsawb tshoob yog leej twg
If the tsawb tshoob is not there then you ask for his number to give him a call
If he is already there skip to the next part



If the father says there isn't one you ask if it's okay to have this discussion with him. Otherwise he will direct you to the person.
If the person is not in the room you will need to ask for his phone number so you can call and contact him.
Once you have the person on the phone you will let him know that this person's son has brought this person's daughter home and you wish to speak with him about it. For him to stay home so you can go pick him up to come to the bride's parents home for the discussion. If he respnse by saying him will come on his own then you stop the conversation there. If he says for you to go pick him up then you ask for his address so you can go and get him.

Call the Tsawb Tshoob and say
nub nuav (groom parents name) tug tub coj tau (bridges parents name ) tug ntxhais lawm es, yog koj nyoj tsev te kuv xaav tuaj tog koj tuaj tim nuav tuaj ntsug peb thaam

When you arrive at the Tsawb Tshoob or Tug Coj Tshooj Coj Kus person's house you will ntsuab yeeb to that person and request him to come with you to the parents house for the discussion. You say the following to the Tsawb Tshoob. And bow afterwards (thov hab pe).

When you get to his house you first ntsuab yeeb to the tsawb tshoob and say
hab rua koj nawb, nub nuav (parent's) tug tub coj tau (parent's ) tug ntxhais moog lawm es kuv xaav thov koj ntsug kuv moog thaam txug qhov nuab, peb los yuav tuaj fis lug nyuas xuv then you pe (bow)

Reference class session 05/22/2022 for more details , 26. Addressing the father and tsawb tshoob

Address the tsawb tshoob

First Step.
ntsuab yeeb rua nam hab txiv
Then ntsuab yeeb rua tug tsawb tshoob again and say
kaab yeeb nua rua koj
nuav mas hab rua koj tug tsawb tshoob,
nub nuav (parent's) tug tub coj tau (parent's ) tug ntxhais lawm
tuaj hab rua koj tug tsawb tshoob tas,
tug tub coj moog lawm los, tsi yog coj moog ua sw ib chim
tsov qaab lug, yog coj moog ua puj us sev lwm,
coj moog nyob muaj chaw lawm,
es koj paab hab nam and txiv xob ntshav
es muaj ab tsw los peb maam le sib thaam

Fis Xu

Next you go right into sawv ceeb and the money
1st is the ntsuab yeeb rua tug tsawb tshoob again and say
peb tuaj los peb tsis paub hab,
luas tas ib raab teb ib tsaam txuj
ib leej ua lawm ib qhov
yog ua tau le mej ib txhwm coj los hab yam zoo
huas yog ua tsi tau los thov mej xob xaav le caag
zaaj txheej pub rua peb hab
es qhov nuav te yog txuj nuas sawv ceeb
luas hab tas yog tuaj xaa lub moo
has tas peb tug tub coj tug ntxhais moog lawm
qhov nuav te yog lub yuas xu
qhov nuav te yog nam lub qai
nuav yog txiv lub qai
qhov nuav yog puj hab yawm
lus tas ntau tshab tsi paub faib no te nuav yog
qhov nuav te yog rua puj laug yawm laug,
nam txawm txiv txawm,
puj nyaaj txiv kwj yij, (hmoob leeg)
muam phauj yawg laug, (hmoob dlawb)
nug tij, nug npawg, nug kwv nawv

Add these words to the phrase above
Reference class session 07/24/2022 for more details , section 6. addressing the Suav/sawv ceeb, tying it, money
Ib leeg ua dlua ib yaam
peb khi lo hov yuav tsi yog tsaw
mej puj ua tseg yawm ua ca

From old recording
nub nuav peb tuaj los tsi muaj dlaab tsi
qhov nuav yug txuj nyuas sawv ceeb nawv
peb xaav te peb muab khi los peb tsi paub
te ntawm nuav yog lub xu, cov nyaj yog ($ amount)
qhov nuav te yog ib lub nyuas qai rua nam,
ib lub nyuas qai rua txiv
lus tas ntau tshab tsi paub faib no te nuav yog ($ amount)
muab rua puj rua yawm
puj laug yawm laug,
nam txawm txiv txawm,
puj nyaaj txiv kwj yij, (hmoob leeg)
muam phauj yawg laug, (hmoob dlawb)
nug tij, nug npawg, nug kwv

How to hold the cuav ceeb
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Others you need to also give (muab qai)
ib lub qai rau koj tsawb tshoob
 If other important people are there like "nam txiv dlaab".
Then you also need to muab qai rua

There are Five set of money given in this scenerio
One for the mom, one for the dad, for the grandparents, one for the rest of the family and one for the tsawb tshoob

ntsuab yeeb to everyone

Next you then go around and ntsuab yeeb to everyone in the house start with the dad and mom
reference meeting 08/07/2022 section 16. Proper time to ntsuab yeej to everyone

Importance

wedding date

ntsuab yeeb to the father and tsawb tshoob and ask
has rua koj tug tsawb tshoob
peb los xaav tuaj teem lub chaws noj su es
yog le nuav nam txiv xaav peb tuaj le caag tuaj nub twg

Note : white hmong you use the phrase

Green hmong you use the phrase tuaj teej chaw noj su
reference meeting 08/07/2022, 6. word differences

Pe (bowing)

Make sure when you "pe" you are facing the xwm kaab
has rua koj tug tsawb tshoob es koj paab has rua nam hab txiv luas hab ta muab npua tub muab ntsw muab dlev tub dlev tum
nub nuav (parents name ) tug tub coj tau nam hab txiv tub ntshais moog ua puj ua sev lawm los, has rua ob tug xob tu sab xob xaav le caag, es ua sab ntev. Tug tub coj moog ua puj us sev xwj es ob peb nub maab tsov qaab tuaj saib nam saib txiv es koj paab has nam hab txiv nawv

Then pe to each of these people. txiv, nam, puj hab yawm, puj laug yawm laug, nam ntxawm txiv ntxawm, puj nyaaj txiv kwj yij (hmoob leeg), muam phauj yawg laug (hmoob dlawb) , nug tij nug npawg nug kwv.
txiv nawb nub nua (paren's) tug tub coj tau koj tug ntxhais moog ua puj us sev lawm luas ta muab npua tub npua ntsw muab dlev tub dlev tum
nub nua txawm tug tub coj tau koj tug ntxhais moog lawm los, koj xob xaav le caag es us sab lug nawv

The last one you pe to is the nam txiv ncej dlaab ncej qhua (dlaab qhua or xwm kaab)
You can stand anywhere in the house , just make sure you turn to their xwm kaab when you say this part
nam txiv ncej dlaab ncej qhua nub nuav, (parents name ) tug tub coj tau nam hab txiv tug ntxhais moog ua puj ua sev lawm es nam txiv ncej dlaab ncej qhua xob chim xob nrho nawb

Hmoob leeg/ntsuab tsis muaj tsawb tshoob

Hmong leeg/ntsuab do not have a tsawv tshoob so you will address the father or the person the father ask you to address

You would basically say and do the same thing but to the father or the assignee

You address him as the father, hab rua koj ua txiv

Words to watch out for

If they tell you to tell the parents this. It means you will need to find a more experiecne Mej Koob as that person will have to say zaaj qeb qhov roob
reference meeting 08/07/2022, section 7. If they say these words to you

What happens if you tie the suav ceeb incorrectly